Friday, January 31, 2003
Relief, and nothing but
Yes, yes, yes! I've finished all the articles I have to do. I can now look at my editors straight in the eye, and not run to the opposite direction when I see them coming. *Heaves a big sigh of relief* I now also have more time for myself--at least, until hell week strikes next week.
Seriously, I've been killing myself lately with all the things I had to do. I guess I thought I could do everything in a stride, but I just end scrambling to finish all those tasks at the expense of sleeping too little (I've been sleeping for an average of five hours these past few days) and not having a life (I missed on my HS barkada's movie get-together yesterday [they watched Hot Chick], which happens v. rarely na nga). From now on (at least for the meantime), I won't bite off more than I can chew. There I've said it, I feel so much better.
On second thought, I have to prepare my resume na if I want intern at LA Times or the like this summer.
I'm not expecting to get accepted in a US paper, as it might probably be too late to apply, but, hey who knows diba? Besides, I really hope I can get in so I have to keep on trying even if the 10 companies I'll be applying for will hand me back 10 rejection letters. Anyway, I have to finish everything soon--resume, cover letter, recommendations, etc.--so I can send it ASAP.
Shit, there goes my time to just bum around.
***
Hay naku, this is so stupid.
posted by melich on 19:37
Tuesday, January 28, 2003
Janitor (black and) blues
I felt so beaten-up as soon as I woke up this morning. Para talagang binugbog.
That's what I got after going through my first janitorial stint in UP IS yesterday. Let me tell you, being a janitor was an awful way to spend two hours... Grace, Ann and I along with a couple of other people had to pile all the leaves using a walis-tambo and then place them all in the trash can. It was totally back-breaking. I don't want to go through all the details since it's boring. We didn't get to interact at all *sulk* and it was as if we were sent there so that they can have people to rake off their stupid leaves. Why couldn't we have gotten a more interesting and (let me stress) less streneous job, like what Rom got (sales lady in Sta. Lucia)? Although Rom tells me she doesn't enjoy lying to her fellow saleslady regarding her background (she tells them she's from Laguna and goes to UP, hihi).
Happy news
Anyway, speaking of Rom, she convinced me kanina to ask the status of my scholarship (the journalism scholarship which I applied for last week). I didn't want to ask kasi the department chair told me that they will inform me nalang daw and I don't want to appear kulit. Since I wouldn't go and ask, Rom asked instead, kunwari daw wala ako.
Soon she returned to me and said "Mel, you should and see the secretary daw. There's a letter for you there." Syempre I shouldn't go there agad kasi kunwari nga I wasn't around. But kebs. I wanted to know.
And I got it! Wheeee. Am now deciding how to spend my tuition and fees refund... I'm thinking of buying a second-hand laptop with the money since I realized lately how I so need it, considering that my course requires me to churn papers constantly tapos I cram most of them.
***
I'm looking forward to seeing Stephen Speaks at the presscon with Angela on Tuesday! Will finally get to see TJ. Which reminds me, I have to get their CD this weekend so I can have it signed.
posted by melich on 07:44
Sunday, January 26, 2003
I'm starting my Philo immersion tomorrow. I'll be a janitor at UP IS from 2-4pm, Mondays and Fridays for three weeks. Good thing I'll have Grace and Ann to keep me company. Of course we can't converse much, and if ever we decide to do so we have to do it in strictly Filipino. We also have to keep mum reagrding which school we're from and why we are there... if ever anyone asks, we have to tell them we are trainees.
***
Things to do this week:
1) Go to Fitness First. My mom is urging me to do this--sayang daw monthly dues ko. I agree with her, but it's just that I've had so much to do these past few weeks, ugh. Tsk, Tsk ..excuses, excuses.
2) Submit editorial, edit and assign articles for Running Mate
3) Write article for Chinoy
4) Accomplish the 6 hour shift for Aegis as part of the requirement for the Editorial Board, finish other requirements
5) Gobble up Theo book and notes to make sure I do not flunk the course. Fr. Dacanay, have pity on me.
6) Requirements for other subjects such as article for Writing class (Oh my god, this is the first time I'm going to say this but--I'm sick of writing! I'm not a robot, a person can only take so much writing assignments), etc...
7) Polish my resume and complete my practicum requirements such as transcript etc.
Oh by the way, I don't think I will become an intern in the States this summer.:( I've checked online and it seems that the deadline for application for spring internship was last December. Yes, I'm very disappointed. I'll probably apply with Nikki at GMA's I-witness... at least it would be fun with Nikki and Cliff around.
***
Can think of so many things to add to my list of to do things, but the important thing is to improve my theo grade. My last exam was pretty bad, I barely made it to passing, although I heard that a lot failed. Still...shit, I don't want to have to repeat a subject again. Why oh why did I have to take Fr. Dacanay? It's not that he's impossible, but he is difficult...certainly not a teacher one should take on a packed sem. And why oh why do I have to overload another subject? Sniff. Oh well, no use crying over spilled milk.
***
I'm looking forward to a boring, work-filled week...a week where I will do things because I have to, not because I want to.
Talk about ugh.
posted by melich on 09:10
Sunday, January 19, 2003
Aaaack. Have a million things to do, and I'm too tamad to start doing any of them.
I have to start doing questions for this article I'm writing, which I should have done days before because I have to contact someone from China for the interview. And the deadline is just days away. Damn deadlines.
Then I have to write an editorial, research for an article and edit articles for another publication and the deadline is, once more, due this week. Then there is the scholarship application I have to do, which I wasn't able to submit yesterday since we had so much fun last Friday having that sleepover in the house with Nikki and Imo causing me to temporarily forget about the application due the following morning. Will have to beg the comm dept to accept my application tomorrow. Sayang kasi. Then finally, the stuff I have to do for school.
I hate procastinating. I hate feeling pressured and agitated over the possibility of not accomplishing something that has to be done. But I do it anyway-- and, worse, I get away with it. One of these days, I'll regret my ways. Which reminds me, I have to start working now.
On second thought, mamaya na.
Maniacs in the chatroom
We were laughing 1/3 of the time last Friday when we had the sleepover. The rest of the time we were exclaiming "Eeew, gross." The fun started when Nikki whipped up her webcam and the three of us began chatting through Yahoo. It was the first time we chatted using a webcam, and for some of us (Nik) it was the first time we've chatted in years, not since it became the chatting phenomenon faded in 1999.
We realized then how bastos and perverted the rest of the world seem to be that night. Or is it just that we were too innocent? So shempre we showed ourselves in the webcam, the three of us. Guess what most of the people were asking? Were the three of us lesbians daw. Can't three girls be seen together in a webcam without provoking questions about their sexuality? Grabe ha.
Meanwhile, some people asked us "can one of you girls show me your behind" and some other parts of the body (guess which parts). Others would ask us to give them a "show," whatever that meant. To say we were offended and disgusted was putting it mildy. And to think that we expected to have some intelligent conversation of sorts.
But it got worse when other people showed us their webcam. There was this one fat hairy (forgive my disgust) Indian guy (actually we didn't see his face but we guessed because of the color of his skin and his Yahoo nick) who showed us his webcam with him jacking off! Nikki had to cover her eyes. We immediately clicked his webcam window off but he keeps on inviting us to see it. Then he kept on clicking to see our webcam, but we keep on turning him down. Can you believe that later on, he had the gall to PM us "You girls are rude."
Anyway, we lost interest in showing ourselves through the webcam. I don't like the idea of showing my face to strangers, especially strangers with maniacal and voyeur tendencies, and I don't think i'd like to do it again.
But it was not a totally bad experience because the rest of the time, we were laughing. We had fun with the webcam and decided to create a sort of stuffed toy show. So whenever people clicked to see us, they would see my stuffed toys grinning at them, then hitting each other. It's hard to describe but just take my word for it that it was funny. People were asking us "What are you, some kind of a freak?" One even asked seriously, when the webcam panned over the grinning face of my yellow stuffed toy "Is that your mask?"
We exploded with laughter over that one.
Among other things we discovered is that, there is racism in the chatroom. Some people (Westerners, most especially), upon learning we were from the Philippines, would stop communication with us, even though the communication had been going along fine. I find this sad. Others, when they saw us in the webcam (seeing that Imo ann I looked chinese) said "Fu*king chinese". We didn't know where that statement came from and what the person meant by that.
Anyway, I guess we were sort of racists too. Once we learn that that we are chatting with someone from India or Pakistan or something, we would stop communicating with him. Can you blame us? We've had such a bad experience with Indians and such that we can't help but be turned off with anyone associated with them. A good example would be that guy jacking off. (I can hear Nikki saying ewwww)
Harry Potter Book 5
Yey! The Order of the Pheonix will be out by June 21! Can't wait.
posted by melich on 01:50
Wednesday, January 15, 2003
I feel totally, totally drained. As in. Just got home after Fr. Dacanay's 3 hour long test... tests like that should be banned. I'm still feeling wobbly. Anyway, i'm so glad it's over. Back to focusing my attention on much important things. Such as surfing the net to look for a place to have my practicum.
***
Whee! Mommy said yes to having my OJT in the States this summer! Now if only I can get a newspaper company there to hire me (kahit as a slave lang..puh-lease) for two months, particularly somewhere in LA. Cute Cali boys here I come! Hehehe just kidding. Will probably turn chicken again when it comes to going out like what I did last summer. Won't go into details as will probably remember how stupid I've been *hits head real hard*.
But i digress.. anyway, better start scouring the net. If anyone knows how to apply for an OJT abroad, I would GREATLY appreaciate the help. Thank you.
***
Nikki was so funny kanina. At around 11, i received a text from the secretary "May tumawag kanina ditong (name of Communication Dept's chairperson) hinahanap ka. She wants to see you in her office ASAP." That had me thinking-- what could ma'am want to see me about? Nikki helped solve my problem "Baka gusto lang makipag friends sayo"
LOL. We went hysterical over that. Somehow, the idea of having our prim and proper department head calling me at home and asking me to see her ASAP "para makipag friends" is too much for me to take.
And Nikki was laughing harder than me. That gurl talaga. It's always a laugh trip when she's around.
***
Of course, I found out soon, the reason behind ma'am's call. She just told me about the Journalism scholarship that I should apply for---they wouldn't be announcing it to the public anymore since, from what I've gathered, they lack time already or something. Anyway, they are considering the three current scholars plus me. Which reminds me, i better start on that scholarship application since it requires plenty of time and the deadline's this Friday already. Talk about last minute.
***
Haay, what's wrong with me? I cut my theology class again kanina because I was 2 minutes late (our teacher kasi, Father Dacanay, does not admit anyone who is even a second late after the bell has rung). This would be no problem at all, but the thing is I am on the verge of overcutting. I cut again last Monday, although I wasn't late this time. I simply didn't come to class. Imagine my surprise when i woke up and it was 11 am already--when my class for father starts at 10:30!
I cut another class too yesterday, the three-hour writing class with Ruey de Vera. It's just so ho-hum.
I hope i'll get rid of this nasty habit of cutting, even though I know I can get away with it sometimes. Should be saving my cut allowance for emergencies.
***
Guess what i did with my vacant afternoon yesterday (due to cutting my writing class)? I had a Latin telenovela marathon, watching the ones at ABS-CBN. Those ridiculous dubbings where v. irritating, but the eye candy totally made up for it. Lalo na that guy from Altagracia. Why are Latin guys so hot? At one time I thought talaga that all Latin guys looked like the ones at those telenovelas. Hindi ba? Well, there's just one way to find out.
I know na what I want for next Christmas, hihihi. Or kahit for my birthday na. I'm sharpening my rusty Spanish already.
posted by melich on 05:18
Friday, January 10, 2003
A long and dramatic post--please skip this if you don't want to get bored
Yesterday began awfully but ended well. Had another spat with my dad because I woke up later than usual since I got so engrossed reading Dostoyevsky's The Idiot (v. entertaining) the night before. I usually leave the house at 7:00 am to arrive in time for my 7:30 philo class, but yesterday I finished dressing at 7:10 am. So ayun, nagdrama nanaman si daddy. He refused to let the driver take me to school even though there were two drivers available in the house. Bahala na daw ako pumunta sa school.
My dad so hates it when I am late. He hates it so much that he feels that he should teach me a lesson-- if you don't leave in time, no driver and car for you (parang Pavlov). This attitude has been going on ever since high school, when he would make me go to school on my own when I'm not out of the house at a certain time. Buti nalang malapit sa Poveda yung bahay namin, so I don't get to school late even if I have to get on a trike and then hail a cab soon after. Unfortunately, my house isn't so near my school anymore.
Decided to cut my Philo class even though it meant I would be 3 cuts shy of getting dropped. I would get there late anyway so I might as well cut. And besides, my dad might soon cave in, take pity on me and let me take the car. I waited and waited and waited. But no, matigas parin sya. Ended up cutting my 9am class as well.
At 10 am it finally came to me that my dad had no plans of letting me take the car and I decided to take the cab na. I was about to go when he decided to talk to me in his office (my parent's firm is located at our house's basement). So we had The Talk-- basically a (one-sided) conversation where he would rant on and on how evil I am, plucking everything that is wrong about me that he could think of at the moment: how I am the black sheep of the family; how ungrateful I am of my carefree, luxurious life;
How I would always wake up late and go to sleep late, sometimes failing to turn of the lights (a grave sin, as far as he is concerned); how I don't often go to church on Sundays; how I sometimes make the driver wait unnecessarily; how I don't study enough (I guess being on the dean's list isn't enough for him); how I have no direction in life, stressing that writing (journalism) is a starving man's profession and I should start focusing on a more lucrative profession (another hint that I should be a lawyer like him and mommy, then take over our firm). Et cetera, et cetera.
Take a leave from school?
He paused for a very long time. And then he turned to me and said, "Mag-drop ka nalang kaya. Stop for a semester, I won't take it against you."
Is he serious?
"Pag-isipan mo dun kung anong gusto mo sa buhay," he added. Again, I am guessing that he is asking me to consider going to law school.
I tried to act indifferent and unaffected during The Talk, and I guess did pretty well (ended looking angry and cold though). However, when I was in the car on my way to school soon after (finally took pity on me, I suppose), I could not stop the stream of tears. I tried to keep from sobbing and kept my eyes shut tight because I didn't want the driver to see me cry.
I hate being seen crying, which is a good thing because I rarely cry. I am one of those people who can't seem to cry--opposite, I guess, of a crybaby. My high school friends call me bato for obvious reasons. During retreats in my high school days, everyone would be bawling their eyes out, except for me. And I was trying, I really was, but for the life of me I couldn't squeeze one single tear out of my eyes. I wanted to cry along with my friends (the somber and senti mood of the retreat dictates one to be so) but my emotions wouldn't let me.
Then came yesterday. Funny, how my dad can always make me cry when other means fail. One time, I shocked my barkada during high school when I came to school teary-eyed. "Sinong lalaki yan?" a friend asked. I had to laugh. How I wish it was a guy... but no matter how gago guys had been (won't go into that), those jerks had never caused tears to well up in my eyes. It had always been just him. Always my dad.
My dad who would eye me warily during high school if I was talking to a guy on the phone for more than five minutes (Talk about strict. One time nga a guy acquaintance even told me that my dad asked him not to call again. Strange); who is overprotective and would rarely allow me to go to parties; who would raise hell when I am on the phone for more than 15 minutes ("Ano bang pinag-uusapan niyo? Nagkikita naman kayo sa school!" he would retort); who never seems to think I am good enough...
Nothing is good enough, nothing I do is right. To him, I am still a child. And I weep because it is only he who makes me feel this way. And I cry because he may be right.
***
My dad is not really a monster, as the previous post may have made him appear to be. I have some faults too. I know that he loves me ferociously which is why he doesn't want me slacking off, but sometimes...sometimes I feel he expects too much. That doesn't keep me from trying though. I guess I unconsciously strive for success just to extort some sort of compliment from him, like a dog eager for a pat in the head. He is happy with the efforts and achievements, I am glad to say. But I know kulang pa yun. I wish I would stop the need to prove myself to him.
Hay naku, tama na nga ang drama! Hehe.
A hot New Yorker and a Canadian named Gia
My day began to brighten up yesterday when Imo and I went to McDo after school. Was glad to have Imo there with me, and for a moment I have forgotten about what happened during the morning. I also, for the moment, "forgot" about that promise to lose weight and I began to order fries, chicken BBQ (yum! yum!) and a sundae cone.
Soon after Imo hitched along with me to go home. Then at a whim, I asked her to stay at my house for a while since I wanted her to read the book I was raving about (An Australian book called "Fortune Cookies"). Her "for a while" stay turned out to be an overnight one. We had a blast chatting at Yahoo, creating different identities and stories. We got mostly weirdos, as expected, but we met a few interesting people. We talked with a New York paramedic who helped during the 911 attack. He was v. interesting, and, may i add, very hot (my type too, long hair [yung type na pinoponytail], tanned and buffed, lol). He had a webcam, that's how we found out. He looks spanish, or maybe latino-- a v. cute one (apparently he speaks spanish too along with three other languages.. I tried to use nga my rusty spanish on him). Hay naku, sobra ba ang gush? Imo, who rarely gushes, was gushing along with me last night to prove how great the guy was.
Anyway, this guy showed us a copy of Newsweek and then he pointed to a picture (a big one--took up one fourth page) and we asked "Who's that?" "Me," he said. Yup, it was him alright. There were several documentaries and feature stories done on him but we didn't prod anymore because apparently, he didn't want to talk about the WTC attacks.
And then a bad thing happened. The guy wanted to call "Gia" (our created identity) who lives in Canada ("You seriously wanted to call long distance," said Gia. "Sure"). Siyempre we made up an excuse why he couldn't call nd he was okay naman with it.
Sigh, bakit parang walang ganung guys here in Pinas?
posted by melich on 05:30
Tuesday, January 07, 2003
Haaaay.. feel so refreshed.
Slept for 11 hours, which makes up for sleeping only for an hour yesterday. Bad trip lang, I wasn't able to do the stuff due for school today (one paper, read 40 pages for a quiz).. but okay lang. At least I fixed my sleeping schedule already. No more sleeping at 5:30 am and waking up at 6:30 am for a 7:30 am class!
But now I have to start cramming (story of my life). I miss the break when I can sleep whenever I want *sniff*
posted by melich on 16:39
Sunday, January 05, 2003
Christmas break is over, waaaaah!
Why are Christmas breaks always too darn short? Can't believe I have to troop back to school again tomorrow.
Which reminds me, I have no idea how I'll wake up in time for my 10:30 am class tomorrow, considering I woke up at 4pm today (yes you read that right, 4 in the bleeping afternoon). That's because I slept at 7 am in the morning. Parang may jet-lag. My sleeping habit's totally screwed up, gawd.
That's what you get when you do nothing all break but a) read books you've bought or borrowed but never got to read due to schoolwork; b) make chika over the phone with friends who seem to do nothing with their time but make chika over the phone; c) go online and download Robbie Williams songs (his looked so hot in his latest video Feel, doesn't he?but what's with getting Darryl Hannah as the leading lady?); d) get fat by stuffing yourself with leftover Christmas gifts (read the post below for specifics).
Was supposed to go to our rest house in Batangas yesterday to get some fresh air in my system, but got too tamad when I realized I had to start packing and all. Oh gawd, what a slob I've turned into this two weeks of nothing to do.
Better go back visit the gym again and make the most out of that hefty Fitness First membership. Kakainis, i lost my membership card and have to pay four-hundred-friggin-pesos for a replacement so I can use the gym again. Does it cost that much to print out another card? Hindi naman siya gawa ng ginto. Why do they have to milk more money from their members when their pricey membership should be enough?
***
Paano maging sikat sa UP
Was checking out Peyups last morning and I stumbled upon this thread: Paano maging sikat sa UP. Hilarious, I swear. If you have time, do check it out.
Here are some responses that had me gasping for air when I read it at three in the morning:
Paano ba maging sikat sa UP? (considering it's such a big school and all)
"Magsuot ka ng robes tapos palayasin mo yung mga manang na nagbebenta ng yosi, bolpen atbp sa tapat ng AS habang sumisigaw ng 'Get out of my father's house!'" (Ann totally laughed when I told her this one)
"Maglakad ka sa buong U.P. tapos sumusunod sa yo yung yaya mo, dala- dala ang mga snacks mo at maya't maya'y pinupunasan ng towel ang mapawis mong likod." (Reminds me of someone I know)
"Kumuha ka ng bato sa may floor ng AS lobby, tapos lulunukin mo kunyari tapos sigaw ka ng--- darna!!!!!!!" (LOL, totally laughed at this one)
"Magsuot ng nametag lagi." (Haha, lalo na dito)
"Punta kang U.P. na nakasakay sa kabayo or sa calesa at nakasuot ng barong tagalog (o baro't terno pag babae ka)."
"...O kaya pumasok ka na naka-funeral car..." (Haha, astig yun.)
"Pumasok kang nakahubad...pero nakamake-up at bagong parlor" (O diba, nag ala-Emperor's New Clothes)
"Tabihan mo si Oble sa Quezon Hall, dapat same posing din. Tapos sumigaw ka, 'Ako ang nag-iisang anak ni Oble!!!'"
posted by melich on 07:13
Wednesday, January 01, 2003
I hate January 2: the day after New Year's Day; that's when reality hits you. It's the day when you have to start shedding all those drasted pounds you've gained from the holiday binge, or suffer awful consequences (such as a wardrobe full of tight clothes).
Can I just ask, why did everybody shower us with sweets for Christmas? As of the moment, our dining room is bursting with cakes from Starbucks and Red Ribbon, homemade yema, Food for the gods, apple crumble pie, polvoron, Belgian chocolates, etc.
Didn't all those people realize that everyone else is giving out foodstuff as Christmas presents? Couldn't they have given us a more practical (and, may I stress, non-fattening) gift like, say, a picture album? A mirror perhaps? A weighing scale to keep up in tabs with reality?
I hate it! It's all their fault that my pants are feeling tight again.
But anyway, it's not yet January 2. Tomorrow pa, hahaha. So excuse me, I have to go down to the dining room.
posted by melich on 06:55
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